Navigating a World That Is Designed for the Garrulous: An Introvert’s Experience
BY Melissa Bautista
A teacher scans a room full of students with the intent to make someone uncomfortable with the next four words that are uttered from her mouth, “Who’s been quiet today?” Dread suddenly fills the student sitting at the back of the class, knowing he hasn’t spoken the entire time. He looks down at his hands trying to avoid eye contact, and he hopes that she won’t call on him. Heat fills his face when she does. A slight resentment swells in his chest towards the teacher for once again singling him out for staying too quiet. This is a common occurrence that separates how introverts experience life compared to extroverts, and it can start from the very first day at school. Extroverted people prefer to engage in social situations, while introverted people lose energy when overstimulated in the same environment. These opposing traits were first introduced in the 1920s by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist who is known for his theories on personality traits. While different cultures across the world have their preferences regarding personality traits, American society in particular has created measures for social interactions based on the standards for extroverts. As a result, introverted individuals are forced to abide by the instincts of extroverted individuals in order to be accepted in most societal situations.
Extroversion is a defining quality rooted in American culture. Americans are known for their outgoing personalities. Ask anyone who wasn’t born in the United States what they think Americans are like. A few qualities that are almost always mentioned are talkative, loud, and straightforward. Nearly every interaction in the United States requires some level of sociability. A huge part of that comes from the standards for customer service. Waiters, cashiers, and receptionists are required to greet customers with a smile and a disingenuous “How are you?” Strangers on the street smile at each other without any purpose. This is all socially acceptable and makes you appear pleasant or approachable. These practices are reinforcements of the notion that sociable people make a good impression whereas introverts appear unfriendly because of their silence. This is one of the reasons why extroversion is seen as the norm in the United States. On the other hand, there are countries like Japan that value introversion. Going out to eat or going to karaoke alone is perfectly acceptable, not shunned. Some restaurants are set up for only individual seating. Being quiet on the train is a must and not taking up too much space from others is just common courtesy. Such behavior results in the country being predominantly introverted. The U.S. differs from Japan, however, in that there are obstacles for those who do not follow the majority. Extroverts have a much easier time flourishing in a surrounding that caters to their instincts. Although many countries lean towards what the majority of society appreciates, American culture also pressures you to conform to their level, or fall behind instead.
In the United States, being extroverted is rewarded far more than being introverted. This bias is prevalent throughout all stages of an introvert’s life. Beginning at school, from a very young age students are encouraged to participate and interact with others. Doing so rewards you with approval from the authority figure you were taught to please. It is easy for talkative children to vocalize without a thought. They raise their hands confidently and talk to other students next to them whom they don’t know well at all, which is considered perfectly normal. But there are also quieter kids, who are reserved and who don’t raise their hands at all. Their unnerving silence leads their peers to believe that something is wrong with them. They then label these people as “anti-social” or “loners.” Teachers take notice and try to encourage them to speak more, but when that doesn’t work, the encouragement turns into intimidation. No matter the age, asking a question in class or reading out loud is always received with a “Speak up,” or an, “I can’t understand what you’re saying” in a patronizing tone. As you get older, participation begins to affect grades and now everyone has to speak or else their grade will suffer. I’ve had my fair share of pointed looks from teachers and zeros for participation. Beyond grades, the relationship between a student and a teacher is significantly different between introverted and extroverted students. I’ve personally noticed a pattern in most teachers and how they treat certain students. I have seen students who have always interrupted their teachers during class because they were unable to simply listen. I have even seen them curse at their teachers or slam the door on the way out after being kicked out of the classroom. Despite the disrespectful behavior, those teachers were more likely to label those students as their favorites than not. I can still visualize the smiles plastered on their faces as they reminisce in front of the class. Meanwhile, my silence seems to be more offensive as I receive dirty looks from that same teacher for doing nothing at all. These reactions have always confused me growing up. This is a recurring experience for many that forces one to question their character and develop a few insecurities along the way.
Getting a job as an introvert is far worse. The only way to get a job is by socializing until you get an offer or by having a prior connection. The University of Toronto conducted a study on the advantages extroverts have in the workplace which concluded that “extroverts — particularly male extroverts — tend to advance in their careers much faster, not because they possess some unattainable genius, but because they are more amicable and social” (Smith). “Networking” events are organized with the sole purpose of talking to complete strangers. It’s an introvert’s nightmare and an extrovert’s picnic. Merit and skill aren’t always rewarded over having sheer gall. These events are catered to an extrovert’s comfort level, providing them even more of an advantage in the competition. Introverts struggle immensely with making superficial connections on a whim. It is exhausting and yet seemingly unavoidable. The more you talk–even if it is nonsense–the more people know you, which gives you more opportunities to succeed. A study published in the Harvard Business Review reveals that “65% of senior corporate executives surveyed viewed introversion as a barrier to leadership” (Featherstone). This once again shows the favoritism extroverts receive in the workplace. For that reason, introverts are not always given an equal chance to succeed in upper management positions. These situations imposed by society have always been more accepting and accommodating for outgoing people. It is rare to see an environment that embraces introverted behavior in a way that also helps them succeed.
On that note, preventing social interaction altogether is certainly not the solution. Socializing leads to the conversations that allow humans to form all types of relationships. Every human being needs some level of social interaction to be healthy. A team of researchers that published a study under Nature Neuroscience found that “Studies have implicated chronic loneliness in structural changes to the midbrain that correspond with a decreased dopamine response” (Chari). Zero to no human interaction can result in low dopamine levels which can lead to feelings of depression or isolation. Despite this known fact, a common misconception about introverts is that they are “anti-social” or do not want to socialize at all. This is untrue, considering every human needs to socialize, but introverts are different in the way they socialize and who they interact with. A study conducted by a group of researchers gathered different people and evaluated their brain’s P300 activity which reveals how a person reacts when their environment suddenly changes. A spike in activity can reveal a higher level of interest or focus. Introverts reacted more to objects rather than faces, and conversely, extroverts reacted to faces more. The interpretation of these results may reveal that “Extroverts place more significance on people than introverts do.” (Fishman, et al.) Introverts do not dislike people more than the average extrovert, but they don’t find people as engaging or as vital to their surroundings. According to the results of the study, extroverts see some type of reward in socializing, whether it be intentional or not. Introverts do not find that same value, which results in a more selective type of socializing (Fishman, et al.). They choose to interact with lesser quantities of people because they are more particular in who they socialize with. The results of this study provide the reasoning behind why people with introverted personalities have a low social battery. All humans must socialize whether they’d like to or not; it is in our nature. Introverts and extroverts simply socialize in different ways. Moreover, the language used by society often convolutes the meaning behind introversion. Using diction that has negative connotations and applying it to a personality type will result in a pessimistic viewpoint amongst society over time. This is why many confuse introverted people with being reclusive and purposefully alienated. And yet, introverted individuals aren’t necessarily reclusive; they are simply more selective about whom they interact with because they are less inclined to be mentally stimulated by socializing. If their minds do not feel activated by social situations, they will most likely not participate. Consequently, these tendencies lead to fewer interactions compared to extroverts.
Introversion may not be a trait that can be easily changed or altered; societal standards can be. Just to start with, it would be a major improvement to introverts’ life standards if educational institutions could encourage open discussion from introverted students by creating a non-judgmental environment that does not evaluate students’ worth based on how many times they open their mouths in class. For instance, it is truly worth considering whether instructors should have the power to fail students for not participating or for not wanting to work in large group activities. As an alternative, teachers could also be a little more flexible and allow students to opt out of overstimulating activities. If working in a group is necessary, they can create more mindful group pairings based on the personalities of the students, or create an environment where the students could choose their own partners. Being more aware that not every student excels under the same conditions, or around the same types of people, can establish a less distressing environment. Beyond college, as these introverted students eventually graduate and transition into their careers, they will also find that there are significantly fewer opportunities for them. In the office, they will find that they must attend a multitude of insincere and large social events that are only beneficial to sociable employees. Instead of keeping this as the standard method to network, workplaces can implement more intimate networking events that allow less outgoing employees to connect without any external social pressure. Hence, firms should evaluate the qualifications of upper management employees with greater depth that does not only choose leaders based on the embellished words they use in conversation. These leadership positions should be given to a person who is willing to listen with an open mind while also being confident in making important decisions. Being assertive and reliable are not qualities that are exclusive to extroverted people. Recognizing that can provide introverts with a better chance at competing for a position they equally deserve.
In general, it may be determined that introverted individuals have an exceedingly strenuous time participating in a society that was created to cater to the comfort level of extroverted individuals. American culture has prioritized extroversion as almost a necessary character to have to succeed. The education system is structured in a way that provides more advantages for extroverted students. Participation and group work are the norms that pressure introverts to participate, or else they will receive zeros for a grade. Teachers prefer the students who talk, often leaving quieter students on the side with less attention, resulting in a weaker teacher-student relationship. As these students graduate and begin to find work they are once again at a major disadvantage. The workforce encourages “networking” that is only meant for sociable people to succeed. Meeting the right people, starting an impromptu conversion, and making a good impression can land you a high-earning job within a day. Networking events only strengthen the success of one type of person, and exclude a multitude of others. It is a very disheartening environment for introverted people, which gives them even fewer opportunities to land a job. Promotions come even less often as management, especially in corporate settings, views extroversion as an obligatory quality to be an efficient leader. And yet, qualities such as dependability, ambition, honesty, and courage can all be found in an introverted person as well. Just because they are not as vocal about these traits does not mean that they can’t possess them in a silent yet positive manner. Can’t a leader be decisive and introverted at the same time? Possibly, but how can we know for sure if the scrutiny from society continues to persist? Being perceived as outgoing and sociable is seen as an absolute way of being that one must achieve if one wishes to prosper. Being quiet in a room full of loud conversations is extremely isolating and discouraging to an introverted individual. Why not put a greater emphasis on creating an environment, especially within schools and jobs, that does not ignore the preferences of introverted people as well, but rather accepts them and encourages their success? In a climate that values inclusiveness now more than ever, I find this to be an idea worth considering. American culture continues to boost the egos and statuses of extroverted people by giving them a leg up in a society where they already have a natural advantage. It is time to integrate introverted ideals into society and give them a place alongside traits that value extroversion. We are so frequently encouraged to speak up. A lot can be learned by also just listening.
Works Cited
Chari, Sunitha. “Social Interaction: A Basic Human Need .” Drug Discovery News, 17 Nov. 2022, www.drugdiscoverynews.com/social-interaction-a-basic-human-need-15564.
Featherstone, Emma. “How Extroverts Are Taking the Top Jobs – and What Introverts Can Do about It.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 23 Feb. 2018, www.theguardian.com/business-to-business/2018/feb/23/how-extroverts-are-taking-the-top-jobs-and-what-introverts-can-do-about-it.
Fishman, et al. “Do extraverts process social stimuli differently from introverts?” Cognitive Neuroscience, 1 Jan. 2011, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3129862/.
Moore, Karl, and William Li. “Can Introverts Thrive in ‘Extroverted’ Careers?” Harvard Business Review, 11 Oct. 2021, hbr.org/2021/01/can-introverts-thrive-in-extroverted-careers.
Smith, Rebecca. “Society Is Made by and for the Extroverts.” The Michigan Daily, 12 Apr. 2022, www.michigandaily.com/opinion/society-is-made-by-and-for-the-extroverts/.
About the Author
Melissa Bautista a sophomore at the Gabelli School of Business majoring in Global Business. Although she will continue her studies with a concentration in technology, she hopes to pursue a career in the fashion industry as well. In her free time, she enjoys reading, writing creatively, and browsing for clothes.